Monday, August 23, 2010

Through mommy-colored glasses

I realized today, after getting fed up with myself and all my failures, that what I needed was to look at myself as my mother would look at me. Where I see all my foibles, negative qualities and mistakes, she would see my positive traits and potential. Where I see dark circles under my eyes, and love handles and wrinkled clothes, she would concernedly consider the causes of these visual signals--was I getting enough sleep? Eating right? Taking time for myself? And she would urge me to rest, eat my veggies, and delegate more.

We women are so judgmental of ourselves--why do we do this? Why do we take small frustrations or imperfections as personal failures? Yet as mothers, we are (usually) so forgiving, loving, positive, and encouraging of our children. What a contrast!

Perhaps I need to take this same treat-yourself-like-your-mom-would approach for my writer-self. If I stop judging my lack of discipline, and see the reasons behind it, maybe I could take better care and make writing a priority. And if I could focus instead on my potential and less on my mistakes, I would certainly be more productive!

Thanks, Mom, for seeing the best in me, and loving me even though you know the worst, too.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Can you hear me now?

I learned an unexpected lesson about voice from, of all things, an email spam virus. Said virus somehow attacked my email account and sent out a fake email (pretending to be from me) to all of my contacts, urging them to check out some website with dubious content.

So, I got several friends who told me in person that I'd had a viral email sent out from my account. What was interesting was how most people instantly knew the message wasn't from me because it "didn't sound like you". I have a struggle with my inner writer every time I write an email, fearing they are boring, lifeless, and generic-sounding. (Similar to my fears about my fiction writing.) Apparently not. Even those folks who I only have contact with infrequently saw that this wasn't me writing--heard a different voice. Nice!

We take the tiny boosts in confidence as we find them, eh?